Chapter 4: The Squirter

MONOGAMY SUCKS, A SWINGER’S TALE, Part 1
By George Pappas, COPYRIGHT, 2010

CHAPTER 4: THE SQUIRTER

November 14

Female ejaculation.

Sounds like a figment of some erotic fiction writer’s imagination. It’s the kind of phenomenon I’ve read about in the Penthouse Forum or in the Playboy Advisor, but I personally didn’t believe it existed until I saw a woman squirt cum juice in a porn film called “Female Cummers.” Porn films are hardly real life so a come squirting woman still seemed like erotic science fiction to me.

One night I heard a sex expert on the radio say that any woman can ejaculate and that a man just needs to know the right techniques. Of course, she was a little vague on what these so-called techniques were. I had never been with a woman, who could come like that, so obviously I hadn’t stumbled on to any of these “techniques” by accident.

Many, including a lot of my friends, still think female ejaculation is a myth. I did too until I met Vivian. She answered my ad and said she was “looking for a man to eat my pussy. My husband won’t do it.”

She described herself as a short woman in her mid forties, but she sounded much older to me over the phone. Probably it was her crusty tired voice and her hesitancy to talk about sex that gave me that notion. Although Vivian wasn’t shy about setting up the ground rules: “No intercourse. Just oral sex.” What a drag.

Even though I wasn’t aroused by her request, I was still intrigued and desperate enough to meet her. My initial fuck date foray with Leilani a few weeks before only made me more determined to meet naughty women even if Vivian’s offer didn’t sound all that promising. Still, I couldn’t turn down a chance at a blow job.

A couple nights later, I invited Vivian to my apartment. She told her husband she was visiting with some friends from work. She said we had two hours to play, but to be honest, we didn’t really need more than 10 minutes.

As I am discovering much to my chagrin, one of the main drawbacks with blind sex dates is that people lie about their looks and age. This indeed is the ugly truth. When Vivian arrived at my apartment, I felt like sending her home. I am not into granny sex. Vivian was in her late fifties and maybe even in her early sixties, but she even looked older than that. She is a short, dumpy woman, who wears thick glasses and has a homely duck like face. Her nose and mouth appear mashed together and she has an unsightly wart below her lower lip. Her curly black hair was matted to her head in clumps like some kind of ancient perm gone bad. On top of that, she wore the clothes of a much younger woman — a short skirt and black stockings – which made her appear even more absurd.

What the hell was she doing here? I didn’t want to fuck my grandmother. She looks like a female Platypus, an ancient duck like animal that I had learned about in school. That became my secret nickname for her later — Platypus.

Vivian acted very nervous and kept trying to pull her skirt down to hide her bony, wrinkled legs.

“I’ve never done this before,” she said in a hushed stammering voice, smiling awkwardly and averting eye contact as much as possible. “My husband won’t do it. He won’t lick me. ”

She kept pensively looking around my apartment as if she expected her husband to show up anytime.

No wonder. I wouldn’t want to lick you either, I thought. I became even more uncomfortable and was ready to tell her to leave, but a sad and hopeless look came over her face that stopped me. I figured she had pondered such a meeting for years so I couldn’t just turn her away even if it was against my better judgment.

I smiled and leaned over and surprised her with a kiss on the mouth. Bad idea. Her lips and breath tasted like sandpaper, tobacco and alcohol, and I nearly gagged. She tasted old. It was as if I could taste her decay and decrepitude. It was something more than just a case of bad breath.

Not wanting to kiss her again, I boldly reached under her skirt (she didn’t resist) and discovered she wasn’t wearing panties. I discovered that her pussy was shaved — I actually felt stubble — which is usually cause for celebration, but not this time.

We moved over to my bed and she removed her skirt. I had no more doubt about her age. Her pussy was shriveled and wrinkled. She probably hadn’t been pleasured in decades. Not exactly appetizing.

I decided to use my fingers first. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if her pussy was clean enough to lick. I stroked her clit with my index finger and plunged my thumb into her ancient pussy.

Vivian began panting, wheezing and moaning almost immediately. I was hoping I wouldn’t give her a heart attack or something and she would die in my apartment. It would just be my luck.

“Eat my pussy,” she demanded in a hoarse, cigarette ravaged voice. “I washed it real good.”

Well, it was her fantasy after all. So with much trepidation, I plunged my tongue into her wet hole expecting the worst, but surprisingly she tasted like strawberries. She must of spent hours cleaning her pussy with a whole bottle of scented soap. I vigorously licked and sucked her clit for another minute or so and then it began to happen. She moaned deeply and suddenly a stream of whitish clear fluid exploded from her pussy.

“Oh, my God, baby” she exclaimed feverishly. “Oh my God…”

Splish Splash, I thought nearly laughing aloud. I was taking a bath covered in pussy juice on a Friday night…

Vivian was a human geyser squirting everywhere. My mouth and face was covered in her love juice. Her pussy eruption also drenched my bedspread and my sheets. Her love juice tasted bittersweet. She ejaculated several more times as I continued to play with her pussy. I have to admit I was in awe of her. I knew I was witnessing a rare event in nature comparable to the eruption of a long dormant volcano, and I didn’t know what to say to her. It was a come shot I thought I’d never see in real life.

Vivian appeared as surprised as I was by her impressive come gushing display.
“I’ve never done that before,” said Vivian, her face flushed with a stunned look of ecstasy. “I’ve fantasized about going to a man’s apartment so many times, but I was afraid my husband would find out.”

I wanted to consummate our sex date with a nasty fuck, but she told me she wasn’t ready for that yet. She also refused to suck my cock. All I could do for now was eat her pussy, which left me frustrated again.

“Maybe next time,” she said, gently pushing my head back toward her pussy.
Vivian sprayed my bed and myself a couple more times before she left a little while later. I never saw her again after that night.

It was a lick, splash, thank you, ma’am encounter. I had no desire for a wet encore. Once was more than enough — even for her unique display.

Yet there was no doubt that Vivian went back to her dead marriage satisfied for the first time in years — maybe ever. I took some gratification in that. She called me several more times, sounding more desperate with each message, but I didn’t return her calls. I have done enough sexual charity work for now. Vivian is a sexually deprived woman waiting for the right time to erupt again. She is a curiosity, but I am not attracted to her at all. I am sexually dissatisfied as usual. I crave a real fiery memorable fuck with a hot lady, who doesn’t look like someone’s ancient ugly grandmother.

What the fuck? I am asking for too much?